28 June 2021
25 June 2021
20 June 2021
My father once said we are all dealt a hand at birth. A good hand can ultimately lose - just as a poor hand can win - but we must all play the cards fate deals. The choices we face may not be the choices we want, but they are choices nonetheless. ― Brigid Kemmerer
Synopsis
A Curse So Dark And Lonely Review
18 June 2021
This travelogue is rather sad and disappointing, but still worth the memories. I remember everything on that day -- the warm breeze, the sunny day, the worn-out map, the sweats that wet us from top to bottom and the thrill feelings. Sangat bernasib baik sebab hari tak hujan. Haneul Park merupakan salah satu tempat famous di Seoul dan hari sebelumnya Ajija dengan aku dah plan nak ke sana untuk photoshoot ala-ala macam dalam cerita korea. Tapi sayangnya hmm...
Keesokannya kami pun bangun awal dan bersiap sedia untuk ke destinasi yang diinginkan. Perjalanan dari Daeso ke Seoul mengambil masa selama satu jam. Bas akan berhenti dekat Gangbyeon Station (Dongseoul Bus Terminal) dan dari Gangbyeon kami guna subway (Line 6) untuk ke World Cup Station. Maka bermulalah perjalanan kami mencari dimanakah Haneul Park sebenarnya. Jalan punya jalan, kesana kemari, akhirnya sampai juga ke destinasi yang betul. We were kinda lost trying to find the right place. Nasib baik ada bawak air. World Cup Station ibarat pintu gerbang. Dalam sana ada 4 lagi park berlainan yang kami tak sempat nak lawat.
Voila. The picture says it all! Tak sangka ada surprise lain rupanya. Tangga membunuh. Ada 425 steps all the way up to Haneul Park. Jangankan 425 steps, yang tak sampai 10 steps pun dah semput macam apa. Nasib baik ada bekal air mineral. Kalau tak confirm mati dulu sebelum sempat naik atas. Penat tak boleh bawak bincang.
Nama lain untuk Haneul Park adalah Sky Park. Dulu tempat longgokan sampah tapi sekarang dah glow-up ditumbuhi lalang lalang bernama Eulalia yang cantik. View dari atas sumpah cantik. Hilang segala penat, duka dan lara.
Tapi sayangnya (sambungan dari perenggan atas sekali), lalang Eulalia cuma mekar pada musim luruh sahaja. Aku dan Ajija pulak datang pada musim bunga aka spring season maka yang ada cumalah padang jarak padang terkukur. This frustration truly feels like a betrayal. Nasib baik still worth untuk photoshoot walaupun tak ada Eulalia.
I really love it here especially the view and the fresh air. Tak pasti sungai apakah itu tapi rasanya Han River. Since there's no Eulalia, we just wandered around, menikmati suasana dan snap whatever gambar yang kami rasa cantik. Tak banyak orang jadi kami menggila sendiri.
16 June 2021
Buku-buku yang kita baca, orang-orang yang kita dengarkan, perkumpulan yang kita ikuti, akan membentuk perangai kita hingga tega melakukan apa pun. – Bapak
Synopsis
Si Anak Cahaya Review
15 June 2021
11 June 2021
The Japanese say you have three faces. The first face, you show to the world. The second face, you show to your close friends and your family. The third face, you never show anyone. It is the truest reflection of who you are.
Kalau semua manusia ada three faces macam ni, means no one is being true to themselves in front of people. Am I right or am I right? I’m dying to know opinions from someone else. What would you say about this? Are we hiding our true colours and pretend to be nice? Can you figure out if you are more to yin or more to yang? Like how do you see yourself? To be honest, just because aku act macam singa di rumah sebab adik adik aku semua bengkeng simok dengar cakap, and that I use profanity when talking with my friends sometimes, I feel like a fake when I act decent depan orang lain. Tsk. It’s not that I feel like I am being someone else or what but it’s the way I behave. Macam mana eh nak explain. You are still you, still yourself. But you behave differently at a certain point in your life. And then you start questioning yourself, which one is your true character?
Siktauklah if orang paham ka sik apa aku bebel. But I feel the need to write this…
Guess what I will wear for the occasion? Perhaps a casual long coat like the one you have always seen in movies or K-Drama or maybe a summer maxidress. The ankle boot is a must cause it's my favourite footwear all the time. What we imagine for ourselves is kinda amusing and sometimes pretty much opposite to who we are in real life. And that is so fascinating.
But what's bothering me in these daydreams is, it gives me a little instinct like there's something missing out from me and that I have to search for it. Is it the life I crave, or is it my inner self trying to signal me about don't-forget-to-find-yourself along the journey?
09 June 2021
My friend once asked me, why do I love listening to sad songs? I never thought my music preference would be something questionable. I am pretty much aware of my music taste and didn't even realize there's something wrong with it. I know she didn't point out about it just to make me feel bad but it makes me think back, just why?
I've been listening to sad songs more often than before now. I even purposely search for it. Is it due to my current situation or is it because I was born a melancholic person? Or am I torturing myself, making my already-down mood become worst?
Music 'bercelaru' will never get any rating from me. I won't even gonna listen to it. Bercelaru means there's too many background noise/sound kedak orang ngelepar eh. I hate that kind of song. Kpop is acceptable. And other than sad songs, slow-rock is also my favorite genre. But the song lyrics are still sad though.
I once stumbled upon this one posting on TikTok where the person mentioned that listening to sad songs is actually an act of self-abuse. I was like, oh damn. I didn't know that, really. I thought it's okay since it vibing well with my mood. I know it makes me feel more pathetic but I don't really care though. Sometimes at one point, I even force myself layan sad fandom on youtube. It's more depressing and I will cry more watching them cry lol. And once again, I thought its definitely okay immersing myself in that mood. But little did I know, it falls into the self-abuse category.
People listen to music to get distracted and cheer themselves up. But it's vice versa for me.
I don't get myself fixed but I let my already-torn self become worst instead.
These are the playlist that I currently put on repeat mode.
1. Xiao Zhang (I've read the lyric translation so yeah its legit to vibe with it)
2. Penjaga Hati - Ari Lasso
3. My Old Story - IU
4. Lovely by Billie Ellish
5. Bury My Heart - Peter Gundry
6. Pedih - Last Child
7. Inner Demons - Julia Brennan
8. Empty Notes - Ghostly Kisses
Social Media