The Garden Of Uncertainty

Photo by Vladimir Vinogradov on Unsplash

So I would like to write about this garden of uncertainty. Actually, I know nothing about it, I have zero ideas about it until I befriend a stranger from Tinder and he shares the quotes below with me. 

“If you can’t do anything about it then let it go. Don’t be a prisoner to things you can’t change.”

Sadly our perkenalan was a quick one and he left after a few conversations. His quotes basically put me into curiosity mode. I read the quotes many times and wondered am I a prisoner? If I am a prisoner, what kind of crime Ive committed? Fikir punya fikir I finally got the answer. Indeed, I am a prisoner and the crime I've committed is keeping a bunch of false hope and I am unconsciously creating a garden of uncertainty in me. I am making myself a hostage and it steers me into complete chaos.

Do you know why and how it is related? It starts with an authentic hope but ends up being something toxic that infected the mind. Keeping a false hope means keeping something rotten in you. It's the easiest perumpamaan and paling mudah difahami. I tend to do it all the time. Though I know I won't be able to change anything about something, like that thing has zero possibility, I still wanna keep it in me and believe that one day it will eventually change when the fact that it cant. Dasar bengkeng sik bertempat. Sik kira lah tentang apa sekalipun, I always have it bottled up in me and end up hurting myself. Letting go is harder thus why I refused to do that.

The funny thing is, sometimes we exactly know the answer we seek but we are in complete denial, refusing to admit the truth. The more we keep the habit, the bigger the garden grows. So what's the point? I imagine myself strolling around the garden I've created, seeing all the things that hurt me everywhere like wilted roses, do you think it makes me happy? Of course not. That's why I chose to burn the entire ground and plant something better. I want something more pleasant, lively, and full of butterflies. It will be the core of my entire system as a human being and I really need a change. If I don't, it's not only the inner me but the whole me that will be wrecked.

The garden of uncertainty is something we all cannot have in life. Learn to let go of something we can't change and believe that there's more for us out there that we still haven't discovered yet. Don't waste time on something worthless. x