03 December 2022


I no longer want to correct people. Even though they might be right or wrong, I will not say anything and just gonna keep my mouth shut. I am hated for correcting people when I know they are doing something incorrectly. I have been told as someone who thinks I am perfect enough that I can fix their mistakes. That was absolutely not the truth and I never said that I am perfect. But just because I spit out the truth, I become the toxic person.

It makes me think again whether my action is toxic or if they are the ones who are toxic and refused to admit their mistakes. It reminds me of being gaslighted and that my words are being twisted and manipulated. Knowing that I might experience the same thing again and gonna trigger my trauma, I decided to leave the thoughts alone. I definitely not and don't want to be in the trap again.

I'm glad the Wednesday film is out and grateful that I spend my time watching it. I've learned something from the main character. Don't give a fuck about people and just do your things. Let them do whatever they want as long as they don't break into your privacy. Well, I think that is clever enough how to deal with humans. I also realized that talking to people like that actually won't affect them and I am just wasting my time trying to fix or correct others.

Rather than having a stupid argument and putting me in agony while the other side is being effortless, I might just do the same and ignore the ignorance. That's it. I hope I can be more resilient and adapt to my new character traits. I don't want to deal with humans anymore. I will just do me and let them do theirs. Enough.

07 June 2022

pocheon art valley

It was my friend's idea to visit the Pocheon Art Valley. We have planned about it one day earlier, again, without any full information bout how to go there, which bus to ride, etc. We woke up around six in the morning, getting ready and feeling enthusiastic enough to start our journey out of Seoul. Pocheon Art Valley was actually an old abandoned rock quarry that has turned into a park where you can wander around and enjoy the breathtaking scenery from that place. It's a home devoted to art and culture and the greatness of nature. 

I barely can recall our journey but as far as I could remember, we took a bus somewhere from the heart of Seoul to this one place probably Myeongdong or Dongdaemun and arrived at another unknown place. We stopped by the CU mart to topup our T-money and start looking for another bus that gonna take us right to Pocheon city. We were kinda lost since we don't know what bus to ride and we tried asking people around there but sadly they can't really understand us. So we had to read whatever word in hangul on the notice board at the bus stop and also had to translate them using google translate. We did go back and forth from one bus stop to another opposite bus stop to make sure the route to Pocheon Art Valley is correct. Sumpah opening gila masa ni dan rasa nak give up.

With 50-50 percent confidence, we picked up the bus and start the journey again. I don't really remember how minutes was the ride, but we decided to get down on the side road that has a signboard that mentioned our destiny. So yeah why not just proceed with it. We were so sure about it but turned out we had to walk over around another 45 minutes to really arrive at that place. Luckily the weather wasn't that hot or else I might pass from dehydration!

We actually took the wrong bus! That one went straight to the center of Pocheon city I guess but tak masuk ke kawasan yang menuju ke Pocheon Art Valley. Benda dah jadi so kami proceed berjalan sampai ke penghujung jalan dan finally jumpa ke tempat yang dicari. Fuhh nasib baik. Bila dah lepas entrance tu aduhai nak kena hiking pulak sebab jalan berbukit. Ahh pasrah! Nasib baik ada bawak air untuk minum. 

Pocheon Art Valley got so many things to offer. With beautiful scenery and cafe, arts and sculptures, walking trails, and spiral stairs, it's the reason why the place has become so famous and a must-visit place when coming to Seoul and Pocheon. 

Since we tried to cut costs and save more money, we refused to take the monorail but took a walk and wander around instead. We went straight to the famous Cheonjoho Lake where the Korean Odyssey and Legend of The Blue Sea has filmed there. The view was stunning and very pure!

Other than the famous lake, there is also an Astronomical Science Centre, Sculpture Park, Sky Park aka observation deck, and a cafe. My favorite place to chill is Sky Park cause from the top I can see the beautiful nature view that calms the stressful heart. Gitu. Serious ah. That moment when the warm breeze blows on my face after exhausting yet exciting journey, I feel like my soul is dancing from the happiness. Somehow I can't believe I was there. Absolutely feel like magic!

Another thing that I love is the forest trails going down from the top next to the cafe. Strolling around before going back is so much fun. If you were to come here, make sure you wear a suitable outfit and drink water. I gotta say Pocheon Art Valley is such a perfect gateway for the weekend. 

05 June 2022


Namsan Seoul Tower is one of the most famous places to visit in South Korea and I can't believe I finally made a memory over there with my best friend. I used to obsess the place from KDrama and always imagine myself being there surrounded by all the love locks. Definitely visualize some romantic scene like accidentally meeting my seoul-mate but in reality, I didn't meet anyone except enjoying myself with the view, the colorful love locks, and catching myself a breath after a long journey to the top. 

The journey I made with my best friend was priceless. Without any preparation and complete information, we took a bus there after a quick reading bout guide to Namsan Tower on Google. It was a bit confusing but we made it. The journey by bus took almost one hour to arrive and when we got there, I was absolutely bewitched. The nature, the people, the tower, the feeling of disbelief of myself finally stepping my foot in a place where I keep watching in KDrama, it felt magical. 


Namsan Tower is stunning especially the view of the mountain and visible Seoul scenery from the top. I have never been to a place like that, so I was so sakai. We went there during winter and the weather was quite cold but still bearable. I truly hope it will snow but sadly I have no luck catching my first fresh snow.

There were so many people around there, especially the local people. I was kind of surprising cause most of those elderly were up to doing hiking activities with friends. Yes most of them were probably in their late 60's or 70's or could be the 80's. I can't believe myself cause taking a stroll over the road there is tiring enough. How did they have so much energy for hiking? 

If I were to come to Seoul again, I will surely come to Namsan Seoul Tower again because.. why not? Instead of coming as a tourist, I wanna try to come like a local doing all the fun activities like hiking or just chilling around instead of admiring the love locks and the view. Just chilling around enjoying the KDrama vibes. Who knows I might meet my seoul-mate? Thereee you go again.

04 June 2022


I gotta say Biore UV Sunscreen Spray is one of my favorite sunscreens. I had never used any sunscreen before I know about the importance of this thing but once I learned about it, I started buying them for myself. I purchased a few from the nearest drugstore and shopee but most of them are quite not efficient for me since I work in the open kitchen, and I sweat all time all day from top to bottom. So yeah, those things won't really stick and save my skin. If it's not making my face oily, it stings my eyes like crazy. That’s why I hate it. I no longer care bout my skin being smashed by the bright sunlight during the day even though I know it's bad. I just don't wanna waste my money. Not until I found Biore UV Sunscreen Spray!

The very first reason why I like this sunscreen is that it's so easy to apply and reapply on my face. And I think it's suitable for me cause it doesn't really make my face oily except when I start sweating.

The texture feels smooth on my skin. It absorbs quick and doesn't leave any white cast like the other sunscreen I ever tried. The bottle is quite big to be kept in a handbag but it's lightweight so for me, the size doesn't really matter.


This sunscreen can be worn on top of makeup kinda like the setting spray. And I gotta say the finishing and texture definitely gonna make your skin look dewy instead of glowing as hell as if you just washed your face with a jar of olive oil.

The result of wearing this might be different for other people. I have a combination of dry and oily skin so it's quite okay for me. 

The cons of using a spray sunscreen are it's not guaranteed that it will give full protection to the skin against the UV ray even though it has an SPF50+ PA+++ rating. I might miss some spots/areas of the skin no matter how much I sprayed them but it's okay for me cause it is still easy to reapply. Maybe I should prepare UV torchlight to check if the sunscreen covered my entire face. ๐Ÿ˜‰

Will I repurchase this again? Definitely yes for a rushing mode. 

What's your favorite sunscreen?

01 June 2022

I figured that finding suitable skincare feels like gambling since we don't know whether the product will do good or bad to our skin. I mostly purchased all my skincare from Watson or Guardian drugstore cause I never trust any local products and I used to dislike them very much after reading many bad reviews about them. Yes, I do stereotype all of them cause I'm scared of the damage it will do to the skin. That's what I thought and I'm sorry if any of you reading this would disagree with that.

But just like what orang tua selalu cakap, benda yang tak disuka lama-lama akan jadi suka pulak. I finally dare myself to try one of the famous local skincare products that were suggested by my sister and my best friend. It is Zarzou Beauty skincare.

zarzou skincare review

I gotta say I don't regret buying these two combos which are Zarzou Brightening & Hydrating Facial Serum and Zarzou Repairing & Soothing Serum. It works wonders on my skin. I've been using them for months and I could see my acne scars start to disappear. I never missed using them before sleep and has been my night skincare routine cause I am so obsessed with it.

Although I think the price is a little bit pricey for just a small bottle, I don't really mind spending bucks to repurchase them again. The texture is good and it absorbs quickly on the skin. What I love about it is it doesn't have any chemical scent when applied to the skin and it dries fast.

Zarzou skincare proves to me that not all local products are bad and toxic. I would definitely repurchase them once the bottles empty. 

12 April 2022

the story of arthur truluv

I will love you forever in darkness and sun, 

I'll love you past when my whole sweet life is done. — Arthur

I don't remember where did I see this book or what makes me want to read this book. I might found it while scrolling down the bookstagram and got interested in the review made by the person who posted it. The Story of Arthur Truluv -- Upon reading it, I'm wondering what's the story about and what will make me fall in love with this masterpiece? Let's keep on reading to know my thoughts on this book!

The Story of Arthur Truluv is written by Elizabeth Berg, an American novelist who was born in Saint Paul, Minnesota, USA. She is one of the New York Times bestselling author of many novels, including The Year of Pleasures, Say When, The Art of Mending, True To Form and Never Change. Elizabeth Berg also writes non-fiction genre which is Escaping into the Open: The Art of Writing True.


Synopsis

A beautiful, life-affirming novel about a remarkably loving man who creates for himself and others second chances at happiness.

A moving novel about three people who find their way back from loss and loneliness to a different kind of happiness. Arthur, a widow, meets Maddy, a troubled teenage girl who is avoiding school by hiding out at the cemetery, where Arthur goes every day for lunch to have imaginary conversations with his late wife, and think about the lives of others. The two strike up a friendship that draws them out of isolation. Maddy gives Arthur the name Truluv, for his loving and positive responses to every outrageous thing she says or does. With Arthur’s nosy neighbor Lucille, they create a loving and unconventional family, proving that life’s most precious moments are sweeter when shared.

Published Date: July 25,2017 | Publisher: Random House


The Story of Arthur Truluv Review

Truly a beautiful book to read. Upon reading the snippet mentioned on the cover of the book, I keep on wondering what will make me fall in love with the story and the characters. Reading this book feels like cruising over a wonderful journey. No adrenaline rush, less curiosity but more pleasure. I love it! It's about the lost and lonely people who find their way to each other and create a new kind of happiness and hope. Despite the different situations, the age gap, and the personality, it proves that we still can connect with other people, and being kind and understanding is the key to everything. How I wish we could really create this kind of peace and warm place here in the real world. No hatred, no bitter heart, no negativity that stresses you out, only the little blessing we will cherish.

Arthur Moses is an incredibly old man who visits his wife’s grave every day for a chat because he believes she’s still there. Maddy, a broken teenager who lost her mother calls him Truluv for his devotion to his late wife and they eventually become friends. They, as well as Arthur’s nosy lonely neighbor named Lucille, have built an unconventional family together. Not biologically related but fully supportive and caring.

This book is full of sweetness and sentimental values and if you asked me to reread this book, I definitely will. A light book to read in between your fantasy and thriller book. I wish I could ask everyone to read this so we could be kind to each other even though we are all strangers regardless of what we are; black or white, poor or rich, pretty or ugly, and so on. And no matter how hard the world knocks you down, how people disappoint you, or how things don't go the way you want them to be, you could always create your own happiness. Not only twice or thrice but more than you are willing to do to make yourself happy.

Rating: ★★★★★

Isn’t life funny? It could drive you crazy if you thought about it too much. Turn this way and that happens. Turn that way and this happens. — Elizabeth Berg

09 April 2022

pride and prejudice review

Vanity and pride are different things, though the words are often used synonymously. A person may be proud without being vain. Pride relates more to our opinion of ourselves, vanity to what we would have others think of us. — Jane Austen

I am intrigued to read a classic book since I never read any of them. And for the very obvious reason why I pick this Pride and Prejudice, my mind told me it's gonna be a romantic novel so yeah why not give it a try since everyone is talking about it. Even the movie is quite hype. There you go then!

Pride and Prejudice is a masterpiece by Jane Austen and was written in 1813 as a novel of manners. She is an English novelist known primarily for her six major novels, which interpret, critique, and comment upon the British landed gentry at the end of the 18th century. Her novels have inspired many films, such as Pride and Prejudice, Sense and Sensibility, and Love & Friendship.


Synopsis

Since its immediate success in 1813, Pride and Prejudice have remained one of the most popular novels in the English language. Jane Austen called this brilliant work "her own darling child" and its vivacious heroine, Elizabeth Bennet, "as delightful a creature as ever appeared in print." The romantic clash between the opinionated Elizabeth and her proud beau, Mr. Darcy, is a splendid performance of civilized sparring. And Jane Austen's radiant wit sparkles as her characters dance a delicate quadrille of flirtation and intrigue, making this book the most superb comedy of manners of Regency England.

Published Date: October 10th, 2000 (first published January 28th 1813) | Publisher: Modern Library


Pride and Prejudice Review

Intrigued by this classic is the reason why I take the chance to read it. I have a little worry about not understanding the figure of speech used in this book and to be honest it's a challenging book to read since English ain’t my first language. But I finally did it anyway with the help of a dictionary and Mr. Google yeay.

This book revolves around love, social status, reputation, and as well as the dangers of false perception. It taught me about something I shouldn't do to someone, like having a bad perception of someone who I don't even know yet. I had a wrong prediction about how the story goes. The rich are portrayed as someone who always thinks highly of themselves. A typical how rich people behave up until nowadays. Something that can never be fixed no matter how many lessons existed out there. While the other character (Elizabeth) always has an advanced judgment against someone which only causes a great misunderstanding. I love how the story unfolds the tension between each other that they acknowledge their mistakes and try to fix them in a good manner. And despite the habit rich must marry rich for the sake of reputation and protect their wealth, this book proves that love conquers all. It's a good read but somehow I think classic is just not my forte. 

My favorite you-go-girl scene in the book is when Elizabeth is being annoyingly persistent in defending her relationship with Mr. Darcy against Lady Catherine who forbids her from marrying him. She pissed her off despite her high social rank because Elizabeth don't give a damn about it. Definitely love this.

Rating: ★★★★

06 April 2022

a heart so fierce and broken review

Choices are never easy. There are good and bad options, but the most dangerous is to not make any choice at all. – Iisak
Go take all my money! This little happiness is worth buying and reading. It's absolutely membuatkan hati kamek makan sik kenyang, tidur sik lena, mandi sik basah. Even the first book is magical enough and has some genjutsu that makes me fall head over heels with the characters. I'm not really a fan of Beauty and The Beast but this gothic, dark, adventurous version of that famous Disney movie is definitely a chef kiss. No kidding. I truly love this book and the story and the characters and everything. 

A Heart So Fierce and Broken is written by Brigid Kemmerer, an American author of young-adult fiction books. She has written more than a dozen dark and alluring YA novels like Defy the Night and Letters to the Lost. Her novel A Curse So Dark and Lonely which is the first #Cursebreaker series was a New York Times bestseller and has received a starred review from Publishers Weekly.


Synopsis

Find the heir, win the crown.

The curse is finally broken, but Prince Rhen of Emberfall faces darker troubles still. Rumors circulate that he is not the true heir and that forbidden magic has been unleashed in Emberfall. Although Rhen has Harper by his side, his guardsman Grey is missing, leaving more questions than answers.

Win the crown, save the kingdom.

Rumored to be the heir, Grey has been on the run since he destroyed Lilith. He has no desire to challenge Rhen--until Karis Luran once again threatens to take Emberfall by force. Her own daughter Lia Mara sees the flaws in her mother’s violent plan, but can she convince Grey to stand against Rhen, even for the good of Emberfall?

The heart-pounding, compulsively readable saga continues as loyalties are tested and new love blooms in a kingdom on the brink of war.

Published Date: January 7th, 2020 | Publisher: Bloomsbury YA


A Heart So Fierce and Broken Review

Oh Grey! What kind of damage have you done to my precious heart? How dare you leave it miserable, craving and wanting for more of you? This sequel truly belongs to him alone! And of Lia Mara, the bravest unchosen heir of Syl Shallow. And of course, Prince Rhen and Princess Harper. I don’t want to mention other than them because they are my least favorite. Nah, truthfully, none at all.

A Heart So Fierce and Broken is one of my most anticipated books released in 2020! The first sequel left me with a broken heart and a complete cliffhanger because I have to wait for a few months just to read the next chapter. I should have read this as soon as it arrived but I didn’t and it takes me one week to finish the book.

So now let’s hear me. First of all, I LOVE GREY. Ain’t nobody can resist such a strong and gentle guy! His character, and his actions are everything. Despite going through so many things just to protect himself and Emberfall, he is still the loveliest yet brutal in every way. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t romanticize the way he fights his enemies, but more of how he tried to protect his friends and Lia Mara.

Just so you know, this book has focused more on Grey and Lia Mara which Prince Rhen and Harper felt so distant in my opinion. It’s more like a standalone but you still get the vibes from the first book. There are more battles and bloodshed in this book, more strategies to protect and hunt each other and yes, I am super glad for the lovey-dovey moments between Grey and Lia Mara. Not too much but enough to make your heart flutter like a silly goose.

And again, just like how I mentioned in my A Curse So Dark and Lonely review, the plot is too dragging. But even though the story has been stretched to the point you might feel boring about it, there’s something for you to see between the pages. That’s what I love about Brigid Kemmerer! She wanted you to know how precious is every single moment that happens between the people around you. What kind of story do you share with them, what kind of help, what kind of feelings, and all that. It may look just like a small thing but it matters a lot!

There are so many things I love about the book. One of it is when Grey said something about Harper. “She became a princess by her words and actions, if not by blood.” How lovely is that? He really appreciates Harper even though Harper is not a real princess! And Harper, being my favorite protagonist, has proven herself to be someone very strong and brave by her words and actions! You know what, even though you are not of royal blood, you can still proclaim yourself as a princess if you do good and keep up with good manners.

A Heart So Fierce and Broken is not merely a fantasy book. But I’ve learned a lot about personality and the worth of relationships from the characters. You can really know what kind of person is the author through her writing, no? I bet she is as well a lovable and brave person in real life!

Rating: ★★★★★

22 January 2022

2022 new year

Can't believe it's already 2022. Another year, another older. Terasa macam cepat jak masa berlalu. Pejam celik dah tahun baru. I have no new year resolution this year cause I never accomplished much of my new year goal's list. I am just hoping for things to get better for me; for me to be able to heal, to fix myself, to be triple stronger than before, and to have healthy mental health and a piece of tranquility for my soul. I don't know if it's too much to ask for but that's the only thing I wish for right now. I am in need of a fresh start desperately. But I am kinda in an unstable state.

2021 has been such a pretty rough episode for me. I've been crushed by life real hard. I've been crying a lot again, I had panic attacks a few times, anxiety attacks most of the time, lost in space quite some time -- it's damn exhausting. Even if I try to distract myself from it, I just can't control that crazy adrenaline rush. People might say I'm too weak, too soft against myself, but only god knows how terrible I felt whenever I face that moment, only god knows how much I hate myself for not being able to pull myself out from that kind of situation. I start self-harming myself again. I even start to release my anger and disappointment by punching the wall till my hand turned red. Pretty fucked up, isn't it?

I am now living with endless suicidal thoughts and constant fear. I no longer do my favorite things. I have nothing to look forward to. I'm simply staying alive for the sake of living. Thus it makes me question myself, why do I still want to continue this life when I no longer have things I want to do?

Nampak sik kecelaruan otak yang sangat dasyat sekali? But, despite all that, I earn a lesson for life at the same time. I only need to be more positive and stronger so I can take the lesson to the heart and build myself back again. I need to fight the demon in me. Wish me luck. 
00:29am · a letter to life. Theme by STS.